From ME to WE: why we need each other more than ever

I had a meltdown in my closet yesterday.

Also, good morning! How are you today?

I am committed to sharing authentically with you, no matter what is going on. I believe that conscious vulnerability is key to genuine connection.

So may I be vulnerable with you?

Thank you.

Confession: my closet is sometimes a catch-all for anything I don’t want to deal with

Who can relate?

When life is “going well” I keep my closet picked up, regularly go through to rotate my clothes, and do laundry once a week.

When life is not going smoothly, I accumulate piles and piles of things in my closet (usually sorted into my plethora of reusable lululemon shoppers). Sometimes I can’t even get into my closet for all the clutter — which drives my husband crazy.

Yesterday, on the eleventh day of self quarantine 2020, I had finally decided to clean out my closet.

Have you had the itch yet? You know, after you’ve watched all the Netflix, baked all the brownies, caught up on all of the Bachelor gossip, and there’s nothing left but to face what you’ve been avoiding?

It was time.

At first dealing with my closet felt great.

Finally, a way to bring order into the chaos of my world. I do have control of this, I thought. I can clean my closet and my life will feel better. I can do it!

then I started to feel the shame of letting my closet get so messy.

Yes, I have a brain injury. Yes, I have daily migraines. Yes, we moved into this house right after my accident and I never got to fully unpack/organize my house to my liking. All of the old pain/wounds of the past 18 months started to come up. All of my fears for the future welled up inside of me.

suddenly my messy closet wasn’t about my closet. It was bigger.

The enormity of the pain, loss, and grief hit me yesterday. While I was cleaning my closet.

I stopped cleaning.

I sat down.

I gave myself permission to cry.

I gave myself permission to ask for support.

I reminded myself I don’t have to have all the answers, or fix all the problems, or even have a clean closet.

I didn’t have to carry this burden alone.

what a relief.

A huge part of my journey has been learning to let others in.

I used to wear a mask of “I’ve got this. I don’t need help. I don’t need anyone.”

I don’t have to wear that mask anymore.

A huge part of my brain injury recovery journey has been/is learning how to ask for help, and learning how to receive it.

Learning how to trust others.

Learning how to break down my walls to share space with other humans.

To connect. To grow. To thrive.

from this space, anything is possible.

We are in a time of uncertainty, which is also a time of great possibility. I know that from the 18 months of uncertainty I’ve been living, I’ve had so much opportunity for growth.

I didn’t do it alone.

I grew from connecting with others.

At a time when we must practice physical distancing, it is easy to become emotionally isolated.

I know this, because I lived this in 2018.

it is also possible to lean in and find new ways to connect.

If any of this imperfectly written anecdote about my messy closet, my struggles with connection, and my transformation has spoken to you…. I hope that you join my 30 Days of Mindful Movement online course. It’s launching 4/1, and you can save your spot today.

Each day, you will receive:

• a mindfulness practice

• a mindful movement session

• a journal prompt

• opportunity to connect with a community of like-minded humans

i hope you join us. We need you, and you need us.

If your income has been affected by COVID19 and you could use support to join this course, use code MINDFUL at checkout for $50 off.

If you need additional financial assistance, scholarships are available. Reach out and ask.

Thank you for being here and allowing me to connect with you.

PS—This photo, and the accompanying article linked in the button below, helped me a lot yesterday. I hope it helps you, too.