When was the last time you intentionally had fun?

Last Friday, I attended my first in-person event in over a year. Despite being vaccinated and taking appropriate pandemic precautions, I was nervous to re-emerge into society.

Over the past year, I’ve been able to go to client’s homes, work on and off (and on and off and on and off navigating shutdowns) in my office, go to dinners on patios, and attend a ton of Zoom functions in my pajamas with my video off. For an introvert like me, the solitude, space and ability to be invisible have been soul-filling.

As the US opens up again, I find myself once again in a period of change and having feelings of anxiety around the unexpected, from the simple to the complex: when I go out, will people be masked or not? Can I trust everyone is healthy? Will I be the weird awkward one who has forgotten how to be in public? Do I remember how to interact with anyone other than my dogs?

Deeper than these questions, the underlying fear echos over and over in my head, will human interaction ever be “the same” after a global pandemic?

In this year of isolation, change, and global hardship, I know that I have changed. There’s a deep sense of loss I’m struggling to grieve and heal. I tell my therapist I think my faith in humanity is gone — I feel an innocence I once had has been shattered. I notice a hardness creep in to my being, a judgmental tone emerge in my thoughts. Many days it’s hard to write about things I love (leggings, skincare treatments, pretty things) when I’m questioning the ugliness of what I see in the world.

What’s the point of it all?

I’m writing this today to shed a little insight on my headspace the last few months. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and as I ponder what could be of service to my readers I realize it might help to share where I’m coming from lately.

I’m someone who needs purpose and lately I’ve been questioning mine.

Since I was a little girl, my personality has been serious. Some people are the life of the party, the embodiment of “fun;” I am not that person and I’m fine with it. Fun for me is reading a book or solving a crossword puzzle: I’ve always wanted to understand why and learn everything I could about every subject I could. As I got older, I got accolades for being focused and studious.

Being uber serious, however, also has its drawbacks. An ex boyfriend dubbed me “the fun police” years ago. That title stung at the time. It’s also easy for me to get burnt out, disillusioned, and stuck.

let the feelings flow

Last Friday, when I walked into the Powerhouse Women mastermind workday, I was feeling very stuck in a pit of self-doubt, frustration, burnout, fatigue, and unhappiness.

In fact, I came close to skipping the in-person meetup and attending virtually where I could hide in my room, in my PJs, and pretend I was fine.

I was tempted.

At the beginning of the day, we each got to share what was feeling “fun” (ahhhh).

It felt terrifying to share with these powerful women, who I deeply respect, that nothing felt fun for a long time. In fact, the only thing that felt remotely fun was putting on my sparkly pants, my lululemon bodysuit, my fanciest mask, seeing these ladies in the flesh, and admitting I was miserable.

As I shared this heavy truth (let some tears flow out in front of these women), I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.

I felt, for the first time in a while, free.

At the end of the day I committed to myself to find five minutes of fun every day. I put a reminder in my calendar. And, since I believe that voicing an intention can create change, I shared my commitment with my mindful minute text club friends and invited them to join me. It turns out that many of them also need to find some fun, so that inspired me to write this post!

If you identify with anything I shared, I want you to know that you are not alone! Keep reading.

It hasn’t been easy to stick to finding time and space (or inspiration) for fun. Yet I’m realizing it’s important to do to help me stay connected to my self.

So what do you do when you aren’t sure where to start?

As fate would have it, a good friend of mine, Jill of The Girls Mentorship, shared that she sets aside an entire day each week to have fun with her family.

My interest was piqued immediately.

I came away from the conversation with three thoughts:

I can learn how to have fun
I can give myself space to have fun by setting the time aside
I can use mindfulness to experience the process to learn what “fun” is for me

Today’s mindful minute is a simple tool to get started on the fun journey.

Try it, right now. Whatever you’re doing, take one minute to do this exercise.

Remember that you can always download the slide and save it to your phone (when we’re stressed, we will not naturally remember to be mindful!).

Today’s mindful minute exercise is to list things that bring you joy and feel fun.

Now that you have practiced the tool . . .

What do you notice?

Try to answer without judgement. Whatever you notice is simply what you noticed; it’s not right, wrong, or indifferent.

Can you make a reminder to yourself to do this once a day this week??

For more support in creating a mindfulness habit, text MINDFUL to +1-480-531-9810 for a free, daily mindful minute prompt!

before we close . . .

As I’ve been soul searching, I’ve decided to take some intentional time away from the blog. My online presence has grown really quickly (for which I’m extremely grateful) and has brought some challenges that I’ve been struggling to cope with. I want to be transparent with you as I work to find solutions as well as support my mental health and well-being.

I hope to return sooner than later; please consider subscribing for blog updates on the blog homepage if you’d like to be alerted when I’ve returned to regular posting.

finding the fun: mindfulness to reduce stress + increase happiness