What goes through your mind when you look in the mirror?⁠

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I'll start: for most of my life, it was a grimace. A criticism. A comparison. An immediate flood of shame that my nose was too big, the cleft in my chin was weird, my body was too soft, the dark circles under my eyes embarrassing.⁠
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If I'm being honest, looking in the mirror was a trigger for me. A reminder that I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, cute enough, or...well, good enough.⁠
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⁠I would never have admitted that a couple years ago. I wasn't even aware of my negative self talk.⁠
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Fortunately, I became aware of this old track in group therapy last year. We were each given a mirror (mine is the one in this picture) and wrote our names on the top. Then we passed each mirror to our left, and wrote one word that we thought of when we looked at the woman mentioned.⁠
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When my mirror came back to me, my eyes filled with tears. Beautiful. Kind. Intelligent. Positive. Resilient. Goddess. Feminine strength. Genuine. Upbeat. Ready!⁠
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These women had seen me at my absolute worst, and this is how they saw me. I did not, in any way, FEEL like I was any of these things they saw in me.⁠ They had seen me at my absolute worst...and still saw good in me.⁠
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This experience changed my life. I placed that mirror on my bathroom counter, and made myself read it every day. I started to speak to myself as my friends did: kindly. Lovingly. Patiently.⁠

Seeing myself through that mirror has helped me heal, grow, and thrive.⁠

Changing my self talk has helped me through this year and a half, through unimaginable uncertainty, pain, doubt, and loss.⁠

Changing my self talk has given me the freedom to share with others without fear of judgement.

Changing my self talk has allowed me to connect more authentically with others.

If that sounds like something you want, keep reading….

Here’s the kicker: I didn’t do it alone. I had a lot of support: therapy, good friends, a few different communities of incredible humans (my lululemon fam, support group, love your brain, powerhouse women, online friends, and professional mentors). The key was surrounding myself with people who were doing what I wanted to do; people who treated themselves the way I wanted to treat myself. People who modeled the behaviors I wanted to embody.

I had a lot of other tools, too. like my mirror, post-it notes, and setting my phone wallpaper to something positive.

I made this wallpaper over the weekend, and I’m loving it each time I pick up my phone. Feel free to download it if it speaks to you. I’ll add it to my instagram stories too. It’s a little “thank you” from me to you — we are in this together!

xoxo, Mallory